As night fell, the moon rose casting an eerie light across the waters. No one said a word but silence was a luxury that would not be experienced tonight. The waves crashed violently against the longboat. As the vessel was tossed over each swell the creaking of wood was deafening. Looking at my fellow companions, I saw them huddled fast asleep. How can they sleep after such a loss? 

My first viking raid and we had lost. The small town off the coast had been considered easy pickings. And yet here we were running home with nothing. No treasure, no victory, and no pride. With a heavy sigh I shake my head. 

A hand touches my shoulder and I turn to see my father. “What has brought your heart down?”

“We’ve been defeated. We are running home like dogs. A tail between our legs.”

“We were not defeated.” A look of bewilderment covers his face. 

“Did you not see the battle? Were you not part of the retreat?”

“Retreat or even surrender is never defeat.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Defeat is not determined by victory or loss. The only way you are defeated is if you accept it. If you believe it. Defeat means you have given up. Defeat is what comes from the choice to quit and never try again.” His knowing smile warms my heart. “Win or lose, every battle is a lesson and it is what molds us into great warriors.”

---

In viking culture a loss in battle did not shake their confidence. If one died in battle, they believed it to be the highest honor. For dying a warrior’s death meant they were welcomed into Odin’s hall of Valhalla in Asgard. Because of this belief, the vikings didn’t obsess over every minor unsuccessful battle.

There was always another raid to go on, always another battle to fight, always another adventure to seek out. Defeat was not possible in their minds. As writers we are impossibly hard on ourselves. We seek out any small inconvenience to fixate on. 

Our first choice of publisher sent us a rejection letter. That must mean we were never meant to be a writer. We should throw in the towel and never pick up a pen again. Think about that for a moment. We get one rejection. Suddenly, we leap feet first into a pool of despair. Why even try if you’re going to simply give up when you face push back? If our writing doesn’t mean enough to us to inspire us to fight for it, then what are we doing?

For those of us who can’t see a life without writing, why does it hurt so much? The pain intensifies when the world knocks us down. Remember the reasons you started. For me it was an outlet for my passionate creativity. In a world full of despair, I dreamed of sharing stories of hope and joy. When did this love of storytelling turn into a desperate try to squeeze a profit from our passion? 

I shake my head at people. They tell me to “get a job that you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” There is no such thing as a “job” you love. Even if you’re making money as a professional author, your “job” is not what you love. Your ability to spend a majority of your day creating through your passion for stories is what you love. But I guarantee you that nobody “loves” EVERY part of their job. So, you ultimately will “work” a good amount of the days in your life.

For many professional writers, that “work” can be editing. It might be marketing. It could also be the countless hours of research we need. That perfect fantasy you have is about quitting your income making job. You want to become a writer full time. It is just that. A fantasy. I can attest to this. During COVID I have the opportunity to leave my career in hospitality and work as a full time writer. 

What I loved about those 5 months:

Writing uninterrupted for hours a day.

Finishing the first drafts for 2 novels. 

What I hated about those 5 months:

Writer’s block. (You’d be surprised at how often your brain goes blank when your only job is to write.)

Editing. (I finished 2 books during this time and both needed drastic edits. I absolutely hate editing. I prefer to hire a professional. But, without income from your 9-5, you have no extra money to spend on editors.)

Marketing. (Even though I set aside chunks of time for this task, I found that it wasn’t as enjoyable. Mostly because, when I had a regular 9-5 I knew that I had to use my marketing time wisely. When you have a whole day dedicated to marketing, it gets old fast. When you only have an hour, you can focus and get the job done.)

Lack of Social Interaction. (While I’m not the prettiest social butterfly, I do enjoy hanging out with friends. We can blame the pandemic. But, I believe that even in a normal year, I would have experienced the same loneliness. You see, with most jobs, you interact with at least a few people every day. They don’t necessarily become your best friends but that interaction is still important to your mental health.)

Lack of care for my appearance. (When you work from home, your self-care can take a hit. What’s the point of getting out of pajamas today, the characters in your book won’t care.)

I will always encourage people to chase after their dreams. If you want to stay at home and write all day as your career, be my guest. But, I offer a word of caution. Think about your writing career realistically. Take off the glittery and magical lenses that you use to picture the perfect job. Instead take some time to seriously weigh the pros and cons. 

But when you decide, don’t let a loss define you. Do not let a rejection letter from a publisher consume you. You have spent months pouring your heart into your writing. There will always be another publisher. In true viking spirit, there will always be another adventure. Letting go of the idea of immediate success will set you and your writing free. 

Understand that true success lies in having the opportunity to write the story. You have the privilege to share your creative passion. Once you accept this, you can move on from the “losses.” Then you can move ahead to the next battle.